![]() ![]() This is a classic example of poor word choice. John gesticulates his leg to get his gun loose… In this version, John’s gun will be in his belt. If you’re violating any of these rules, you’re not clearly stating what’s happening. The objective of a sentence is to convey to the reader what’s happening. Lack of clarity boils down to three things: poor word choice, awkward phrasing, and the absence of information. If your writing isn’t clear, forget about us liking your script. If you want to read a script that embodies this approach, check out Vivien Hasn’t Been Herself Lately, which someone in the comments section should be able to point you towards. If you keep things simple, you don’t have to worry about clunky sentences. The more words you’re adding, the more commas you’re adding, the more actions you’re adding, the more complex you’re making your sentence. This sentence is technically correct but there’s too much information and it’s a bit of an awkward read. John grabs the jet black gun with authority, piercing Frank between the eyes with a bullet out of hell, who’s dead before he even knows what hit him. What you don’t want is something like this… The idea here is to convey what’s happening to the reader as simply as possible. It may need more meat, more punch, more flash. This might not be the final sentence you go with. John grabs his gun off the counter and shoots Frank in the head. So if you want to say that John Wick shoots and kills Frank, write out the most basic version of that sentence as it relates to the scene. Give us the action as if you were explaining it to a 3rd grader. Don’t phrase your sentence in a weird way. Whatever you’re trying to say, say it as simply as possible. The way to do this is to start with a baseline. This is the basis for all easy-to-read writing. Simplicity + Clarity + Voice + Skill = Readability But even if you aced your AP English class, you still want to keep this formula in mind. I’m not going to teach you what a noun or a verb is. Now it’s important to note that the foundation for good writing comes from education. So today I want to go over the formula for writing a smooth easy-to-read script. The writer, then, blissfully unaware, continues to write ugly clunky difficult-to-read screenplays. It’s easier to focus on some other problem they need to fix. But even for the writers putting their work up here, it’s embarassing to tell someone that their writing is at an eighth grade level. Usually it’s because that writer isn’t getting enough feedback. It’s my belief that these mistakes are made because the writer isn’t aware that their writing is clunky. While this is something that happens a lot at the beginner level, you’d be surprised how often I encounter this problem from writers 4, 5, 6 years into their journey. A few weeks ago in Amateur Offerings, a Scriptshadow reader brought up that one of the entrants had such a clunky writing style, it was difficult to understand even his most basic sentences.
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